I got up with the urgency "to go". Geesh how that one little thing controls my world. I even talked to the doctor about it. He says he completely understands, "It's like you want to fart but you never know if it's going to be wet, right?" I'm going to let you in on a secret, it's ALWAYS wet for me. So there is no gently letting the air out and hoping it doesn't stink. I haven't truly farted in 6 months! I know, the simple things in life.
Back to getting up with the urgency...I sit myself down on the toilet ready for the wet fart. That is NOT what happened! I start to get clammy, dizzy and my mouth is watering so bad. I grab the trash can just to get the saliva out of my mouth. I know I am going to throw up. I hate throwing up! I start dry heaving, which by the way is much better than actually throwing up. In the process of all that, I actually went to the bathroom. Amazing, huh? AND it wasn't just what I would call "fluffy" poop, it was real poop!
Those of us with these types of issues have a vast knowledge of the Bristol Stool Chart. It's common talk in our household. Here it is so you know what I am talking about. I say my "fluffy" poop is number 6.
Woo hoo! After 6 months people I have PRODUCED a real piece of poop! I know it is hard to believe how exciting this could be for someone, but I was somewhat excited about it. If only I could figure out why I got so sick when I did it.
I did present this to my doctor and he was very quick to answer. Y'all this is normal! Say what? Yes! Since my colon is so inflamed it is working very, very hard. When I need to go my blood pressure drops quickly and the body's mechanism starts the whole process of getting clammy, dizzy, etc. I was like, "Yeah right." A little research told me that I was wrong, many people face this same issue while going to the bathroom. At least I haven't passed out yet and I am super happy about that.
This is just one of the many things that I face every day. I know I am not alone out here having the feelings I do. I just want to help others through this process. It may be embarrassing for me to tell you all the THINGS but honestly this helps me tremendously and I hope it reaches someone in the same boat. There will be a day we can look at this and say, "This is why I am as strong as I am today!" Until that one day comes, walk with me on my journey!
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